You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How does one acquire holy water?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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