i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
