All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
