how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
