I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
