i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
