our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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