I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
