I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
