dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There r osticjed everywhere
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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