how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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