his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
