You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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