And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
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all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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