it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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