Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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