see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
