Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
