My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
