it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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