one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize