Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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