My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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