I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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