Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
