this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
