so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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