Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
