after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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