the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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