she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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