Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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