Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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