Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize