I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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