I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
