if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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