The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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