the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
