i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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