So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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