College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
