So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
