I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I am available for nakedness
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
