whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
