i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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