it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Panties = found
Randomize
