youre lurking in front of me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
