Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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