happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It was confusing and full of hummus
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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