idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
