: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
