I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
