3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
