Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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