we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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