Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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