I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
