I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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