is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
