so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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