my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize