try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
