I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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