We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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