Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
