Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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