no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
