Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
