I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
